It’s been a long while since I wrote, I can’t seem to get the hang of writing every day, I can take hundreds of pictures every day, but they require no words. There has been a lot and a little going on, mostly just life, or something like it, but it all seems to be hitting all at once. It’s a constant barrage of bad shit, good shit and dumb shit that leaves my head spinning right round, right round like a record baby….Ok, sorry. There’s just been so much happening that I really don’t even know where to begin. So. I won’t. I’ll hit the highs and lows, but leave the mundane shit out, which is probably good, since, who wants to read a mundane blog post anyway? Right? Right! Well, I found out that the guy I was seeing was married. Yeah, Married. With a pregnant wife. He is mentioned in previous posts, so I won’t bother with putting it here. It hurt me so badly to find out that he had lied to me the entire time we were seeing each other, but then, I started feeling horribly guilty, because I have been in his wifes place, I know what she will feel when she finds out, and she’ll find out, eventually, it all comes out in the wash. So, that was a huge kick in the gut for me, I mean, I really loved him, with all I had, and yet, he chose to do this to me. Now, I may not be what everyone would call a “good person” which is a completely relative term for me. I suppose I should say a little something about my so called “moral compass” before I go on about all this, I know that there are Christians out there that live according to their beliefs, their church and the bible. I have not one problem with that. I’m Catholic, I don’t go as often as I should, I know this, but I also know I have a good relationship with God. He’s not hatin’ on me, and I’m not hatin’ on him. I do things according to MY rules, yes, I live by Gods rules as well, but my rules are a bit more flexible, I’m pro choice, I support gay marriage, and equal rights, I don’t like illegal immigrants that come to take advantage of our country, I think sporting a gun is a right everyone should have, I think the penalty for child molestation should be the death penalty. I pay it forward all the time, if I have a friend in need, I do everything I can to help. I do what *I* feel is right, I have rules and standards that I hold myself to, I don’t mess around with married men, I don’t mess around on a spouse. If your unhappy, get a divorce, it’s pretty simple, and I’m sure I could get into debates about this rule and that one, but I don’t need to. I live my life to be a good person, to be kind, to help others and try to find happiness. So, when I found out Corey was married, I was devastated, because not only did he lie to me, he put my in a position without my knowledge to break one of my rules, and that makes me so mad. But I’m doing my best to just forgive and forget.
This post has ended up being so long that now I feel bad if I go on. Haha. I think I’m going to post this, then write a new one later tonight. Don’t worry, it won’t be all bad 🙂